Writing Prompt for Weekly Keys: Who is in our Tribe, Community, Village, Inner Circle, or Friends group and how to take time out of our busy lives to prioritize space to grow each other?
Whew! Alright! Let's dive right in.
So, when I was younger I thought, "you're either in or you're out." Friendships were very black and white to me. As I have gotten older, I have learned that there are different types of friendships that serve different reasons and seasons in my life. I've learned that people can only meet you as far as they have met themselves. I have worked a lot of reality checking my expectations of some of my friends. There are some friends that are your ride or die. The ones that always pick up the phone, the ones that listen until you're blue in the face, the ones that truly pour in to the friendship. Then you have the other friends who only have the capacity to check in once a month... you know, the ones that say, "I'm alive, are you?" and thats okay! Life is busy! You have the "good time friends" that if there is a party or lake day, you're sure to invite them.
I like to think of my friendships in rings around me. My close friends in the first ring, then the next set of friends in the next ring, so on and so forth. Ultimately, they are all my friends, but I know where to place them, how much to trust them, what to expect from them, all without taking it personally. This really helps me prioritize my time for my friendships. Reality is, you only have so much time to give friendships as you live a busy life with family, work, possibly school, and the list goes on. For me, what it comes down to is recognizing, out of the friendships, who pours in to you.... who fills your cup. When you are cultivating space for friendships, it is important that you take the time for those that take time for you. Not to say that you can't create space for, or make the efforts towards the "outer rings" of your friendships, but this helps as you are priortizing your time.
After I prioritize my personal life and inner circle, I can start to reach out to the outer rings and make plans, even if it's 1-2 times a year.
When I learned to look at friendships from this view, I was able to love people where they are at and truly enjoy my friendships for what they were. I was able to have more friends than ever because I no longer looked at friendship one way, but was open minded to what different types of friendships looked like. I was able to give my outer circle the space they needed, without demanding that they needed to be a certain way to be considered a "good" friend. Also, let's just be real... we do not have the time to give to ALL of our friends regularly. I learned that even I may be someones outer circle friend simply because I the lack of time or energy I had left to give after my close circle, my family, and personal life.
Having friends and making the time for them as an adult is hard... you are never alone no matter what you think. We at WTIFF, are always here to listen and be there for you in any way that we can!
We would love to know your thoughts on this journal entry, and how you prioritize your friendships!
XO,
Mak